OK in reality I just developed a drinking problem.
The first panel did happen, and to be fair the guy was spot on with all three counts.

The facts are this:
1) The main villain in The Legend of Spyro: A New Beginning was based – loosely – after Dark Willow from Buffy, insofar as we knew she was good at heart and was twisted by evil magic. There was a lot more to it than that but we knew from the outset [...]

In real life she’s 29 years old and has been married three times